by Peter C. Harbon
May Prince
May & Leah
May with the Nixons
May with the Reagans
May & Peter 1979
Herbert, Maud, Peter, Robert & Barbara Harbon
Barbara, Susan, Maud & Robert Harbon
Maud's LDS Primary Group
Peter, Maud & Michael Harbon
MaudCHAPTER 14: Remembering May
I have no memories of which I can recollect, seeing or being with my Grandma Maud or her sister May. But I know, from pictures taken of me with them that I have met them. Through these photographs, stuck into the first few pages of my childhood albums by my mother, I was able to learn what Maud and May looked like.
From time to time I heard stories about them, shared with me by my father and mother, sometimes from my older siblings. I always loved to hear these stories and perhaps because of this, I have always felt closely connected to them as if I knew them personally.
In family conversations over the years, John and Anice Prince were rarely mentioned. We spoke more about their daughters.
May was always referred to affectionately as ‘Aunt’ May in our home. I thought the stories I heard about her were wonderful and legendary. Since I was a boy I remember seeing pictures of May posing with her large dark glasses and fur coats next to important people, whose names I didn’t then know.
May’s personality was described to me as outgoing and confident. But descriptions of her were rarely complimentary, for she has often been portrayed as a controlling, demanding woman, with a tendency to act with an air of superiority around others. But whether the stories were positive or negative, they were always fascinating to me.
May came from America to visit our family for a week in February 1979. I was nearly one at the time. My mother wrote of May on that occasion, ‘She is very stimulating. The children are very impressed. She is a very spiritual woman with high standards and makes me feel inadequate. Her feelings on health foods are quite strong too and she is trying to encourage us to have better diets…there is much to be learnt from her.’ May generously bought us food and toys. Mum also wrote that ‘Michael told May, she could stay as long as she liked!’
On the Sunday, May came to church with us, at one point in the testimony meeting my Dad and May stood up at the exact same time to bear their testimonies. My father wrote in his journal that ‘it was a choice experience. Whilst May bore her testimony everyone listened intently to what was said.’
There was an amusing incident as our family said goodbye to May at Liverpool Lime Street Station. We all got onto the train to have a look at May’s First-Class compartment and to say a quick prayer together before the train was due to depart. Suddenly the door slammed shut and the whistle blew, my Dad tried to open the doors but couldn’t. Dad wrote later ‘my pulse doubled for a couple of seconds,’ there was a bit of a panic, ‘Louise started crying too’ - until a railway official came and opened the door for us to get off.[1]
May came to visit again, two years later, this time she brought her granddaughter Margaret Pearson with her too. On 4th May 1981, my Dad, Louise and Michael went to meet them in Chester. My Dad wrote, ‘Aunt May bought all the family a present. We then toured two or three villages in Cheshire where some of our ancestors spent their lives, namely the Potts, Edgeley and Wright families, the nearest town was Nantwich.’ Afterwards, my father drove May and Margaret to Harrogate to the Majestic Hotel where they were staying. Mother, who didn’t go, observed on their return home at midnight, ‘I think they all found it stimulating.’[2]
Most of what I have learned since about May, has been acquired from the 104 page-book she wrote in 1982, The Campaign of Faith and You that she dedicated to her parents. In producing the book she was assisted by two of her granddaughters, Jennifer and Margaret Pearson. Jennifer had just returned from a mission in Japan, and she helped design the book’s cover. Margaret a graduate from Brigham Young University typed the manuscript. In the first few chapters May introduces her ancestry, family upbringing, conversion to Mormonism and subsequent emigration to America. The rest of the book deals primarily with May’s proselytising efforts in the political and social circles in which she mixed.
One interesting experience May relates is while working hard in California, November 1960, campaigning for the Republican Party during the closely fought presidential election battle between Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy. May wrote, ‘The day [9 November] that he [Nixon] lost to John Kennedy, I made straightway to his mother’s [Hannah Milhouse Nixon] home, to find her alone, with a tear-stained face as she answered the door and asked me in…I was her first caller!’
Mrs Nixon showed May around her home, pointing out items of ‘memorabilia’ that reminded her of memories of her son Richard growing up. While stood together in the kitchen, Mrs Nixon told May of how Richard would pull down the blinds, so that his friends outside wouldn’t ‘razz’ on him for washing the dishes, telling him, ‘only sissies wash dishes!’
Mrs Nixon and May also shared views on ‘the Godless nature’ of Communism, and Richard’s devout beliefs as a Quaker. According to May, she and Richard Nixon’s mother became good friends and Mrs Nixon once told May that the ‘Mormon’ scripture she gave her was ‘a source of great comfort.’[3]
Not long after this experience May moved to New York and became a member of the Women’s National Republican Club and the Republicans Abroad Committee. She often attended social functions rubbing shoulders with ambassadors, congressmen and other dignitaries. In an LDS Church News article published 28 February 1981, May shared her reasons for proselytising Mormon beliefs with these political leaders. ‘The fact that these people hold influential government positions does not mean they do not have the same spiritual needs as the rest of us. In fact, I believe they are more in need of divine assistance than the rest of us, since much of our temporal welfare depends on the decisions they make.’
The main method by which May went about sharing the gospel was by purchasing personally-engraved, leather bound copies of the triple combinations (Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants & Pearl of Great Price) and then presenting them as gifts. The first person she presented with a T. C. (how May referred to the Triple Combination scripture) was Liu Chieh, Taiwan’s representative to the United Nations. ‘Once I had done it,’ said May, ‘it just seemed like the thing to do, again and again.’
That was 1965 and since then May went on to present copies of the Church’s Standard Works to more than 100 persons, including three Republican Presidents (Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan), one vice President and a number of congressmen, ambassadors and other public officials.[4]
One British newspaper article, featuring May’s presentation of scripture to the Mayor of Harrogate put it aptly, describing her ‘dual role or mission – as a campaigner on behalf of the candidacy of President Nixon…and as a propagandist for the Mormon Church.’[5]
On a recent visit to my Aunty Susan’s home in Doncaster we spoke briefly about her memories of May. Susan recalled that May was a ‘larger than life’ character and her father, Bert, didn’t get on to well with her. Susan said that when May came to visit, she would be quite intimidating. May made quite a show arriving at the Station with her ‘big hats.’ Susan remembers how May would ‘open her suitcase, full of herbs, or ‘erbs’ as Aunt May would pronounce it!’[6]
From telephone conversations this year with Leah Pearson, (who currently lives in Provo, Utah) Leah has shared all kinds of memories of her mother. One occasion she recalled was when she and May went to visit Maud and Bert. May often expected to be chauffeured to all kinds of places – friends, acquaintances and family history sites during her stay in England. Leah said that ‘it was not long after the war, car fuel was not cheap and Bert had to put his foot down, telling my mother he couldn’t drive her to all the places she wanted to go to.’
Leah related how growing up, she moved around the country a lot, with her mother. Leah described it as a difficult time, never able to settle in one place for long. ‘Mother was an unusually high-strung person,’ stated Leah. ‘She was a brilliant singer, but would often treat people quite harshly, i.e. pianists who were accompanying her.’[7]
Barbara Elvidge has said similar things. ‘My first memory of May visiting England was when I was in my teens and I was overwhelmed by her dominating personality. It was so foreign to our home.’ Barbara said that Maud was very loyal to May and was willing to do anything for her. Barbara also remembered later, when May came to one of her child’s weddings that she was quite a handful then.[8]
To these views, my mother has added her own. ‘May is often looked on as an eccentric in the family for her extreme views on health, food and religion, but in actual fact she is right in many things, but just autocratic and dominating in pressing them forward. She has taught me many things for which I am grateful. She also has a great deal of concern for others as had her sister Maud.’[9]
CHAPTER 15: Remembering Maud
Alternatively, the stories I have grown up hearing about Grandma Maud were virtually all positive. Though I don’t personally remember Maud, I have always imagined her to be a very cheerful, friendly and morally upstanding woman. I always picture her as a practical woman, busy in the home, fulfilling endless chores.
The story told most often of Maud was of her as a young mother, during and after World War II running a primary full of children. While she did this, Bert was busy in the Home Guard, often being called out in the evenings and on weekends. He had stayed in England during wartime, because of his work as an Electrical Engineer. Maud ran the primary from home, but when it grew too big she moved over the road to the infant school. Barbara said ‘when I was too old for Primary I used to go and play the piano for her. She seemed to do it almost single-handed, although there must have been one or two sisters to help her and the missionaries sometimes. A large number of the local children were attracted to coming and she had about 40 in the group.’[10] My father also wrote, ‘attending primary was a joy to me and its wholesome influence has helped me all my life.’
My Dad added, ‘Mum continued to faithfully teach us the principles of the gospel and we had frequent visits from strapping big Elders from the US of A. I loved them, they always took such interest in us.’ My father recalled how Maud took them with her on trips with the whole Doncaster LDS Branch, visiting ‘Cleethorpes, Bridlington and Whitsuntide…the missionaries were such fun.’[11]
Robert wrote about the family holidays he remembered as a child, ‘we managed a holiday each year. The first in my memory are those in a boarding house at Blackpool. We went there several times after the war, in the early Fifties we went to Somerset and on the Norfolk Broads…Dad took slides, which later were shown by projector.’
Maud continued her activity in church, although her husband Bert ‘didn’t feel inclined to take up the faith of the Latter-Day Saints.’ My father wrote, ‘it was necessary for Mum to go it alone or pack it in…although Dad was not of the same mind, when things got tough for her, the necessary encouragement and support were offered and it was possible for Mum to continue to attend church.’
Maud’s children drifted away from church attendance, but she never gave up hope of them one day returning. Barbara described her feelings this way:
‘I steadily strayed from activity in the church, reading a diary that I wrote in 1954 I was surprised how little we went to church as a family, or perhaps my record was not complete. I met Rowland and started going with a group away to the hills at the weekends and stopped all church contact, I think this way I was able to feel most comfortable about not attending church regularly, somehow it deadened my conscience. I eventually married Rowland and much to mother’s dismay decided to marry in the parish Church of England. We moved away from home and started a new life together with no church. My mother often brought church up when we visited and would quote little things from the Book of Mormon from time to time hoping to touch us in some way. She kept me in touch with the members and it shook me when John Maxwell was investigating and later joined the church (I was at school with him) and then followed Sheila Wright later to become Maxwell and her mother.
The missionaries called referred by my mother when we were living in Stevenage and the new chapel was being built. We let them in and they immediately sparked my interest and awoke my testimony. Rowland took a little longer as he had to start from scratch. I used to think that my mother’s reminders put me off, but I think now that she never let me truly feel comfortable about my inactivity (although I was not technically a baptised member I never felt that way). We have a great deal to thank her for.’[12]
My parents were baptised too, six years after the Elvidges, 17 November 1971.
My mother recorded, ‘Bob of course attended church as a child and fell away around the age of 14 and still kept his church teachings in his heart, though unbaptised and inactive. Those things may have been what attracted me to him!’ Influential in their conversion were Barbara, Rowland and the missionaries, but I think especially important was Maud’s example and her little reminders to my parents over the years.
My mother (who was raised a Methodist) wrote that one of the first LDS events she attended, while courting my father, was the ‘Singing Mothers’ Concert at Albert Hall, in Nottingham in which Maud took part. Although touched by the church literature she was given as a result of attending the concert, my mother soon lost interest. ‘I carried on as a member of the Methodist Church and enjoyed my activities…Bob came to church with me and it satisfied my needs.’ Maud had not given up on my mother though, which she clearly recalls, ‘my future mother-in-law often spoke about her church as she always was a good missionary.’ Another time Mum wrote in her journal that she was ‘impressed by [Maud’s] zeal and dedication.’ Sometimes her zeal was even too overwhelming for my mother to take! After being baptised, my Mum wrote that, ‘Bob’s Mum and the Elvidges were thrilled.’[13]
Leah has also commented on how vital Maud’s influence was in supporting her to stay active in the church. When Leah was studying at the University of Utah (where she met her husband Ray Pearson) Maud wrote her several letters. These letters Leah said were a ‘lifesaver.’ Leah also expressed what a lovely alto singing voice Maud possessed.[14]
Maud held a wide variety of church callings and responsibilities over her lifetime. As well as teaching the Nursery and Primary children (where she later became Second Councillor in Stake Primary), she gave a lot of service in Relief Society. In Relief Society Maud was a secretary, teacher, ‘spiritual living’ leader, First and Second Councillor and President in Doncaster. Maud was also called to give instruction to other members about genealogical work.[15]
Maud’s husband, Bert had started his own electrical business in 1953, acquiring premises in Gordon Street, the same year as their fifth child, Susan (18 January) was born. Robert wrote that his father was often fully occupied in the business and Maud’s hands were full with the children to care for, along with her church callings.
Any time Maud had for relaxation, she filled by studying church books and going to the library. Maud’s hobbies included knitting, crochet, embroidery, gardening and monologues.[16] ‘When John was oldest to care for the rest of us,’ wrote Robert, ‘Dad without fail took Mum out to the pictures once per week. And the Don, Picture House Odeon and Gammont…in their later years the picture houses of England, Scotland and Wales were found and it was another notch on Dad’s cinema watching stick as they toured the land at holiday with the caravan.’[17]
Herbert partly retired from his business in 1975, due to health reasons. His oldest son John took over from him. Maud saw her husband’s health worsen, with him having a series of strokes, until in 1977 he had a very severe stroke that he wasn’t able to recover from. Bert died at home, 2 May, 69 years old.[18]
My sister, Louise, although only 7 years old when Bert died and only able to get to know him from a child’s perspective, still remembers some things about him. Louise wrote that Grandpa Harbon, ‘was similar to our Dad – with his quiet, but strong observing nature.’ Louise remembered playing in the garden at Cusworth Lane, ‘Granddad had a lovely greenhouse that I always wanted to go in, because it was full of nice plants, but it was out of bounds unless he was there. There was a little pond that Michael fell in!’ Louise also recalled two other personal memories: one being Bert’s ‘special chair by the fireplace, which only he sat in. The other was in his final weeks of life, when he had been bedridden. I remember being taken in to his room to see him, as a young child quite a scary experience but a picture that will always remain in my memory.’[19]
While Maud will be remembered through her journals and letters, one of Bert’s lasting contributions, are his photographs and cine films. In 1994, Andrew Harbon edited and reformatted footage from Bert’s Kodak cine films from the 1960s. Through the images Bert captured, his interests and passions come vividly to life - chiefly his love for family, boats, horses, motorbikes, caravan, planes, walking in the countryside, wildlife etc…
One example of Bert’s cine films, of great significance for me, was what he filmed from my parents wedding. Bert seemed to possess a sensitive eye for detail and a great ability to capture the human emotions of his subjects on camera.
Maud wrote regularly in journals throughout her life and also kept a Book of Remembrance. Reading what Maud wrote in 1978 one senses, despite efforts to stay active and with many visits from family and friends, she felt very lonely without her husband. She records taking flowers to Bert’s graveside in Arksey Cemetery.
On 17 August 1978, Maud wrote that she was at the London Temple, with Barbara, Rowland, Robert and Caroline, where they performed various temple ordinances for family. The most special ordinance for Maud though was to be married to ‘her husband for time and all eternity.’ Maud wrote of the experience, ‘well everything went okay in the sealing room all right and now my darling Bert and I are sealed forever. I hope he wants it that way – as I certainly have been looking forward to it.’ On this occasion Barbara and Robert were sealed to their parents too.[20] My father recalled that there was ‘glorious sunshine’ on this memorable day as they visited the temple.[21]
Maud has often been praised for the love she gave her children and when she became a grandmother, she likewise sought her grandchildren’s happiness. Not long after I was born, she came for a short stay and also to attend Louise’s baptism on 29 April 1978. Maud gave a short talk about the 4th Article of Faith, ‘which all the children present listened to avidly,’ Dad observed. Louise said ‘I was really excited that Grandma Harbon spoke. She really was a special guest for me, because I don’t remember her coming to visit us that often and she bought me a new green dress to wear on that day.’[22]
As a family we visited Maud at her home in Doncaster in July and December 1978. Sleeping at Maud’s, Louise remembered on one occasion, ‘one morning I came downstairs before anyone else and Grandma was down there. We sat together in the living room. All around the fireplace she had her Hummel or whatever it was collection and she gave me one of her pieces. It was a special moment for me, because she treated me as someone responsible. I have since lost it!’[23]
On one of these visits to Maud, my father wrote that he gave Maud a priesthood blessing at Church. ‘That was special to us,’ he said. ‘I do appreciate my Mum for what she is and what she has done for us.’
Maud decided in June 1979 to sell the family home of 45 years in Doncaster. She moved, later that year, to live with Barbara and Rowland who had bought a home at 1 York Road, in St Albans.
My Dad went to the London Temple a couple times early on in 1980 and would usually meet up with Maud there or in St Albans. Maud did come to stay with us for week, which was enjoyable, except for an unfortunate incident at Liverpool Lime Street Station, where Maud accidentally fell on the escalator, which my mother recalled was ‘upsetting for her.’ The next time we saw Grandma Harbon was at the end of August in St Albans. Aunt May was also in London at this time, promoting Ronald Reagan’s cause in his presidential campaign and we had tea with her on one evening.[24]
Louise remembers of these trips to St Albans, ‘I really liked [Maud’s] room and all the lovely dark wood furniture and the grandfather clock…I remember Grandma being a really good cook, mum was irritated that dad used to go on about it too much! Grandma served rice pudding with vanilla ice-cream, I found this the height of luxury, because mum either gave us rice pudding or ice-cream, NEVER together!’ I absolutely loved it. Dad also used to say no one could beat his mum’s pastry!’[25]
Maud was sadly diagnosed with breast cancer not long later. We went down to see her 28 May 1981, after she was recovering from an operation and radiotherapy treatment. When we were there she was very tired and in a lot of pain.
The last time the whole of our family saw Maud before she died was a visit we made at the end of October 1981. Maud was now very weak and taking painkillers, my mother commented however that ‘she is very cheerful and keeps her faith up.’ She tried to keep busy too. While we were in St Albans, it was Michael’s 8th birthday and therefore he was baptised in the LDS chapel there, especially memorable because Maud was able to attend.[26]
Since that last visit of our family, my father’s concerns for Maud’s deteriorating health grew and he often telephoned Barbara to monitor any developments. In January 1982 word came from Aunt May, who was strongly requesting for her sister to go to USA to have herb treatment there and abandon the Chemotherapy. Maud was reluctant to go and after some discussion Dad advised Maud simply to follow the counsel of her Bishop. On 17 January my father telephoned, he wrote in his diary that ‘Mum sounded weary, although been to church. Her neck is troubling her now.’[27]
The last letter my family received from Maud was stamped 15 February. Maud said it was cold outside and she had a great urge just to stay in bed, but she remained positive by writing ‘Whatever the weather we’ll weather the weather, whether we like it or not!’ But also adding her wish for the weather to improve, ‘I hope spring won’t be long, the tulips, yellow and red are out. Quite lovely.’
On February 19, Dad received news from St Albans that Maud’s ‘days are now somewhat numbered in weeks.’ The next day, my Dad’s brother, John, spent the whole day with Maud (which turned out to be the last time he saw her alive).
On Sunday 21 February, Louise, Michael and Amy went to church on their own in Southport, because Mum and Dad were both sick. Dad was now getting desperate to go and see his mother, whose state was worsening, according to Rowland. On the Monday, Dad went to the doctors, who promptly put him off work for a week. Dad hoped he would be better in a few days and planned to travel to St Albans on the Friday, hoping to take the rest of us with him to see Grandma.
But on Tuesday evening, Dad rang Barbara, who said Maud was not expected to last more than a couple of days. My father wrote, ‘this was a shock to me and I intend to travel to see her tomorrow if suitable trains can be found. I am still very weak myself from the flu, but I discussed it with Caroline and we decided I should go.’
Wednesday 24, Dad got a return ticket for £9.90 from Liverpool to London. It was a very cold day and my father was very weak physically when he got on the train for the 5-hour ride south. ‘The walk from the station at St Albans was the last straw and I was quite dizzy by the time I arrived at 1 York Road.’
My father wrote several details about Maud’s state of health upon his arrival to see her. ‘Mum was on two-hourly doses of a mixture containing morphine and largactil, which relieves the pain. The only sustenance that she receives are frequent sips of boiled water through a straw…Mum comes out of a subdued sleep for short periods and converses very plausibly, but soon lapses.’
Robert noted that the last day Maud had read in the Book of Mormon was February 18. She was up to 3 Nephi 15, adding that this was ‘a wonderful part of the scripture, dealing with the Saviour’s visit to the Nephites following the Resurrection.’
On Thursday of that week, Peter and his wife Carol brought Maud’s sister-in-law, Phyl to visit. My Dad said he was sorry to see them leave that evening and said, ‘I think Peter who doesn’t show much emotion was feeling that way.’
The next morning Robert was awoken at 7:15 a.m. by Rowland, who said he had been prompted several times in the night to give Maud a blessing. My Dad said, ‘after washing and dressing, I said a quiet prayer and went to Mum’s bedroom, where Rowland was waiting…Rowland suggested I anoint with oil, but Mum said it was “Robert’s turn,” so Rowland anointed and I gave her a blessing of faith and comfort and assurance assisted by Rowland.’
Clare Elvidge, a trained nurse, had returned from Oxford and was assisting in Maud’s care. Clare had persuaded the Doctor to allow her to administer injections, instead of the giving Maud her medicine orally, because of her difficulty swallowing.
Monday, March 1, was the last day of my father’s visit. In his journal he recorded:
‘As the injections do not sedate to the same extent, Mum was much more awake this morning and she seemed quite calm and serene. The sun was shining and she related having a dream or vision of having seen Joseph Smith and she was so excited and wanted me to know of the good news that the Saviour wanted to be here soon. She repeated this a couple of times. I was thrilled to be there with this time of finality of Mum’s mortal probation. She was faithful even during this time of great trial. Time for goodbyes and I said a prayer with her. Mum tried to repeat it after me, but was too weak to finish. I asked her to say hello to Dad for me and said goodbye, before departing in heavy rain on my journey home. I arrived home about 4:30pm. It was good to see Caroline and the children again.’
We received news by telephone on Friday March 5th that Maud had died, at 6am that morning - she passed away peacefully. My Dad added, ‘the strain of the last few weeks is now drawing to a close and Mum has passed through the veil to loved ones waiting for her.’[28]
Louise has a memory of this day too, but from her perspective as an 11 year old. ‘I remember quite distinctly the phone call from Aunty Barbara. We lived at Unit Road (Ainsdale), we were having breakfast before school…Mum told me and Mike that Grandma had died and asked us if we were okay to go to school. Then she called Dad who was already at work…I was quite upbeat about it, and went away to get ready. On deeper reflection, I realised that I had missed a vital window of opportunity – so I decided to feign some sorrow and did actually get my day off.’[29]
Two days after Maud passed away, my mother remembered again Maud’s influence in her conversion to Mormonism, writing ‘To Mum H. then we owe our membership in the Church and I am thankful for the closer relationship I had with her since the day we joined the Church. Bob drew closer to her...We didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but that will have been my fault – me being the more abrasive one.’
The following Thursday we travelled to Doncaster, staying in Conisbrough with my mother’s parents. Dad went to meet Aunt May, who had flown from Salt Lake City, via Dallas, to Atlanta, then to Gatwick airport and then travelling from London to Doncaster for her sister’s funeral.
My father recalled spending a ‘pleasant evening meal with Aunt May at the Mount Pleasant Hotel in Bawtry.’ They spoke for 3 hours until 11:30 pm. May told my father about the book she had written ‘shortly to be published concerning faith and church proselytising.’
Friday March 12, the day of Maud’s funeral service was cold and windy with some rain - my mother recalls it also being ‘snowy.’ We all gathered at my Uncle John’s home, to leave for the church at 1 pm. Barbara and Rowland just arrived in time, there son John Elvidge’s car broke down on the motorway just south of Doncaster and a taxi was quickly sent out to rescue him.
A special service was held at the LDS church in Doncaster. Rowland gave the invocation, and there were talks from two Bishop’s who had known Maud - Bishop Broome and Dewey, who spoke about her faith and the example she had set for all. My father spoke second, and although he had prepared notes (see Appendix 3) for a talk, he didn’t refer to them. My Dad expressed the feelings of assurance that both Maud and Bert had passed into loving family relationships and challenged all to find out what Maud had found out when only a girl. My Dad suggested that the grandchildren read Maud’s writings and for them to keep their own journals. He finished by explaining the Holy Ghost. My sister Amy, aged 6, remembers singing the hymn, ‘I Know That My Redeemer Lives,’ at the funeral and that Dad appeared quite emotional during the song.
Maud was buried at Arksey Cemetery, in the grave with Bert. Louise remembers standing by the graveside, with her cousins Wendy and Anne, also around the same age as her. They talked about what they remembered about their Granddad, who was already buried there and how they felt about Grandma dying. Louise doesn’t remember what they said, just that she had a ‘feeling of genuine grief.’[30]
Following the funeral and burial, family returned again to John Harbon’s house for some refreshments and socializing.[31]
It was touching to learn from my mother’s journal that despite enduring ill health for a considerable time before she died, Maud had knitted several items to give as birthday gifts to us. My sister Jenni, whose birthday was 10 March, received a knitted dressing gown from her. I received a jumper on March 27 and Louise also received a gift from Grandma for her birthday on April 27.[32]
It is hard to put into words the great influence that Maud had on others - the love that she gave her family and friends. Her example is still with us today, even for those of us who were too young to get to know her, or were born after she died.
Maud’s older sister May passed away seven years later, 9 September 1989, in Murray, Salt Lake, Utah and was buried the following day in Salt Lake City.
May and Maud were far from identical as far as personalities go. Like all siblings they fell out at times. One time after a childhood quarrel Maud was ‘spanked’ by her father for causing May’s nose to bleed! They had their differences, but still they had many things in common. For example, they shared a love for music, for family history and both kept detailed records of their lives for future posterity to read.
Perhaps what they shared most as sisters was a united faith. Specifically, a faith in what they saw to be the true gospel of Jesus Christ, restored once again to the earth. It is this aspect of their lives that I have found most fascinating to learn about.
Writing their ‘religious’ history, I have asked myself questions like: How does one explain such faith? Were May and Maud more naturally inclined to be faithful than others? Why did they continue to believe, especially when trials came their way? What rewards came from their faith? What can we learn from their example of faith?
Recently, I heard an inspiring talk given by one of today’s leading Book of Mormon scholars, Terryl L. Givens. In speaking about the choice between faith and doubt, he said:
‘The call to faith is a summons to engage the heart, to attune it to resonate in sympathy with principles and values and ideals that we devoutly hope are true, and to have reasonable but not certain grounds for believing them to be true. I am convinced that there must be grounds for doubt as well as belief in order to render the choice more truly a choice—and, therefore, the more deliberate and laden with personal vulnerability and investment. The option to believe must appear on our personal horizon like the fruit of paradise, perched precariously between sets of demands held in dynamic tension. One is, it would seem, always provided with sufficient materials out of which to fashion a life of credible conviction or dismissive denial. We are acted upon, in other words, by appeals to our personal values, our yearnings, our fears, our appetites, and our egos. What we choose to embrace, to be responsive to, is the purest reflection of who we are and what we love. That is why faith, the choice to believe, is, in the final analysis, an action that is positively laden with moral significance…
‘Why, then, is there more merit—given this perfect balance—in believing in the Christ (and His gospel and prophets) than believing in a false deity or in nothing at all? Perhaps because there is nothing in the universe—or in any possible universe—more perfectly good, absolutely beautiful, and worthy of adoration and emulation than this Christ. A gesture of belief in that direction, a will manifesting itself as a desire to acknowledge His virtues as the paramount qualities of a divided universe, is a response to the best in us, the best and noblest of which the human soul is capable.’[33]
I have no memories of which I can recollect, seeing or being with my Grandma Maud or her sister May. But I know, from pictures taken of me with them that I have met them. Through these photographs, stuck into the first few pages of my childhood albums by my mother, I was able to learn what Maud and May looked like.
From time to time I heard stories about them, shared with me by my father and mother, sometimes from my older siblings. I always loved to hear these stories and perhaps because of this, I have always felt closely connected to them as if I knew them personally.
In family conversations over the years, John and Anice Prince were rarely mentioned. We spoke more about their daughters.
May was always referred to affectionately as ‘Aunt’ May in our home. I thought the stories I heard about her were wonderful and legendary. Since I was a boy I remember seeing pictures of May posing with her large dark glasses and fur coats next to important people, whose names I didn’t then know.
May’s personality was described to me as outgoing and confident. But descriptions of her were rarely complimentary, for she has often been portrayed as a controlling, demanding woman, with a tendency to act with an air of superiority around others. But whether the stories were positive or negative, they were always fascinating to me.
May came from America to visit our family for a week in February 1979. I was nearly one at the time. My mother wrote of May on that occasion, ‘She is very stimulating. The children are very impressed. She is a very spiritual woman with high standards and makes me feel inadequate. Her feelings on health foods are quite strong too and she is trying to encourage us to have better diets…there is much to be learnt from her.’ May generously bought us food and toys. Mum also wrote that ‘Michael told May, she could stay as long as she liked!’
On the Sunday, May came to church with us, at one point in the testimony meeting my Dad and May stood up at the exact same time to bear their testimonies. My father wrote in his journal that ‘it was a choice experience. Whilst May bore her testimony everyone listened intently to what was said.’
There was an amusing incident as our family said goodbye to May at Liverpool Lime Street Station. We all got onto the train to have a look at May’s First-Class compartment and to say a quick prayer together before the train was due to depart. Suddenly the door slammed shut and the whistle blew, my Dad tried to open the doors but couldn’t. Dad wrote later ‘my pulse doubled for a couple of seconds,’ there was a bit of a panic, ‘Louise started crying too’ - until a railway official came and opened the door for us to get off.[1]
May came to visit again, two years later, this time she brought her granddaughter Margaret Pearson with her too. On 4th May 1981, my Dad, Louise and Michael went to meet them in Chester. My Dad wrote, ‘Aunt May bought all the family a present. We then toured two or three villages in Cheshire where some of our ancestors spent their lives, namely the Potts, Edgeley and Wright families, the nearest town was Nantwich.’ Afterwards, my father drove May and Margaret to Harrogate to the Majestic Hotel where they were staying. Mother, who didn’t go, observed on their return home at midnight, ‘I think they all found it stimulating.’[2]
Most of what I have learned since about May, has been acquired from the 104 page-book she wrote in 1982, The Campaign of Faith and You that she dedicated to her parents. In producing the book she was assisted by two of her granddaughters, Jennifer and Margaret Pearson. Jennifer had just returned from a mission in Japan, and she helped design the book’s cover. Margaret a graduate from Brigham Young University typed the manuscript. In the first few chapters May introduces her ancestry, family upbringing, conversion to Mormonism and subsequent emigration to America. The rest of the book deals primarily with May’s proselytising efforts in the political and social circles in which she mixed.
One interesting experience May relates is while working hard in California, November 1960, campaigning for the Republican Party during the closely fought presidential election battle between Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy. May wrote, ‘The day [9 November] that he [Nixon] lost to John Kennedy, I made straightway to his mother’s [Hannah Milhouse Nixon] home, to find her alone, with a tear-stained face as she answered the door and asked me in…I was her first caller!’
Mrs Nixon showed May around her home, pointing out items of ‘memorabilia’ that reminded her of memories of her son Richard growing up. While stood together in the kitchen, Mrs Nixon told May of how Richard would pull down the blinds, so that his friends outside wouldn’t ‘razz’ on him for washing the dishes, telling him, ‘only sissies wash dishes!’
Mrs Nixon and May also shared views on ‘the Godless nature’ of Communism, and Richard’s devout beliefs as a Quaker. According to May, she and Richard Nixon’s mother became good friends and Mrs Nixon once told May that the ‘Mormon’ scripture she gave her was ‘a source of great comfort.’[3]
Not long after this experience May moved to New York and became a member of the Women’s National Republican Club and the Republicans Abroad Committee. She often attended social functions rubbing shoulders with ambassadors, congressmen and other dignitaries. In an LDS Church News article published 28 February 1981, May shared her reasons for proselytising Mormon beliefs with these political leaders. ‘The fact that these people hold influential government positions does not mean they do not have the same spiritual needs as the rest of us. In fact, I believe they are more in need of divine assistance than the rest of us, since much of our temporal welfare depends on the decisions they make.’
The main method by which May went about sharing the gospel was by purchasing personally-engraved, leather bound copies of the triple combinations (Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants & Pearl of Great Price) and then presenting them as gifts. The first person she presented with a T. C. (how May referred to the Triple Combination scripture) was Liu Chieh, Taiwan’s representative to the United Nations. ‘Once I had done it,’ said May, ‘it just seemed like the thing to do, again and again.’
That was 1965 and since then May went on to present copies of the Church’s Standard Works to more than 100 persons, including three Republican Presidents (Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan), one vice President and a number of congressmen, ambassadors and other public officials.[4]
One British newspaper article, featuring May’s presentation of scripture to the Mayor of Harrogate put it aptly, describing her ‘dual role or mission – as a campaigner on behalf of the candidacy of President Nixon…and as a propagandist for the Mormon Church.’[5]
On a recent visit to my Aunty Susan’s home in Doncaster we spoke briefly about her memories of May. Susan recalled that May was a ‘larger than life’ character and her father, Bert, didn’t get on to well with her. Susan said that when May came to visit, she would be quite intimidating. May made quite a show arriving at the Station with her ‘big hats.’ Susan remembers how May would ‘open her suitcase, full of herbs, or ‘erbs’ as Aunt May would pronounce it!’[6]
From telephone conversations this year with Leah Pearson, (who currently lives in Provo, Utah) Leah has shared all kinds of memories of her mother. One occasion she recalled was when she and May went to visit Maud and Bert. May often expected to be chauffeured to all kinds of places – friends, acquaintances and family history sites during her stay in England. Leah said that ‘it was not long after the war, car fuel was not cheap and Bert had to put his foot down, telling my mother he couldn’t drive her to all the places she wanted to go to.’
Leah related how growing up, she moved around the country a lot, with her mother. Leah described it as a difficult time, never able to settle in one place for long. ‘Mother was an unusually high-strung person,’ stated Leah. ‘She was a brilliant singer, but would often treat people quite harshly, i.e. pianists who were accompanying her.’[7]
Barbara Elvidge has said similar things. ‘My first memory of May visiting England was when I was in my teens and I was overwhelmed by her dominating personality. It was so foreign to our home.’ Barbara said that Maud was very loyal to May and was willing to do anything for her. Barbara also remembered later, when May came to one of her child’s weddings that she was quite a handful then.[8]
To these views, my mother has added her own. ‘May is often looked on as an eccentric in the family for her extreme views on health, food and religion, but in actual fact she is right in many things, but just autocratic and dominating in pressing them forward. She has taught me many things for which I am grateful. She also has a great deal of concern for others as had her sister Maud.’[9]
CHAPTER 15: Remembering Maud
Alternatively, the stories I have grown up hearing about Grandma Maud were virtually all positive. Though I don’t personally remember Maud, I have always imagined her to be a very cheerful, friendly and morally upstanding woman. I always picture her as a practical woman, busy in the home, fulfilling endless chores.
The story told most often of Maud was of her as a young mother, during and after World War II running a primary full of children. While she did this, Bert was busy in the Home Guard, often being called out in the evenings and on weekends. He had stayed in England during wartime, because of his work as an Electrical Engineer. Maud ran the primary from home, but when it grew too big she moved over the road to the infant school. Barbara said ‘when I was too old for Primary I used to go and play the piano for her. She seemed to do it almost single-handed, although there must have been one or two sisters to help her and the missionaries sometimes. A large number of the local children were attracted to coming and she had about 40 in the group.’[10] My father also wrote, ‘attending primary was a joy to me and its wholesome influence has helped me all my life.’
My Dad added, ‘Mum continued to faithfully teach us the principles of the gospel and we had frequent visits from strapping big Elders from the US of A. I loved them, they always took such interest in us.’ My father recalled how Maud took them with her on trips with the whole Doncaster LDS Branch, visiting ‘Cleethorpes, Bridlington and Whitsuntide…the missionaries were such fun.’[11]
Robert wrote about the family holidays he remembered as a child, ‘we managed a holiday each year. The first in my memory are those in a boarding house at Blackpool. We went there several times after the war, in the early Fifties we went to Somerset and on the Norfolk Broads…Dad took slides, which later were shown by projector.’
Maud continued her activity in church, although her husband Bert ‘didn’t feel inclined to take up the faith of the Latter-Day Saints.’ My father wrote, ‘it was necessary for Mum to go it alone or pack it in…although Dad was not of the same mind, when things got tough for her, the necessary encouragement and support were offered and it was possible for Mum to continue to attend church.’
Maud’s children drifted away from church attendance, but she never gave up hope of them one day returning. Barbara described her feelings this way:
‘I steadily strayed from activity in the church, reading a diary that I wrote in 1954 I was surprised how little we went to church as a family, or perhaps my record was not complete. I met Rowland and started going with a group away to the hills at the weekends and stopped all church contact, I think this way I was able to feel most comfortable about not attending church regularly, somehow it deadened my conscience. I eventually married Rowland and much to mother’s dismay decided to marry in the parish Church of England. We moved away from home and started a new life together with no church. My mother often brought church up when we visited and would quote little things from the Book of Mormon from time to time hoping to touch us in some way. She kept me in touch with the members and it shook me when John Maxwell was investigating and later joined the church (I was at school with him) and then followed Sheila Wright later to become Maxwell and her mother.
The missionaries called referred by my mother when we were living in Stevenage and the new chapel was being built. We let them in and they immediately sparked my interest and awoke my testimony. Rowland took a little longer as he had to start from scratch. I used to think that my mother’s reminders put me off, but I think now that she never let me truly feel comfortable about my inactivity (although I was not technically a baptised member I never felt that way). We have a great deal to thank her for.’[12]
My parents were baptised too, six years after the Elvidges, 17 November 1971.
My mother recorded, ‘Bob of course attended church as a child and fell away around the age of 14 and still kept his church teachings in his heart, though unbaptised and inactive. Those things may have been what attracted me to him!’ Influential in their conversion were Barbara, Rowland and the missionaries, but I think especially important was Maud’s example and her little reminders to my parents over the years.
My mother (who was raised a Methodist) wrote that one of the first LDS events she attended, while courting my father, was the ‘Singing Mothers’ Concert at Albert Hall, in Nottingham in which Maud took part. Although touched by the church literature she was given as a result of attending the concert, my mother soon lost interest. ‘I carried on as a member of the Methodist Church and enjoyed my activities…Bob came to church with me and it satisfied my needs.’ Maud had not given up on my mother though, which she clearly recalls, ‘my future mother-in-law often spoke about her church as she always was a good missionary.’ Another time Mum wrote in her journal that she was ‘impressed by [Maud’s] zeal and dedication.’ Sometimes her zeal was even too overwhelming for my mother to take! After being baptised, my Mum wrote that, ‘Bob’s Mum and the Elvidges were thrilled.’[13]
Leah has also commented on how vital Maud’s influence was in supporting her to stay active in the church. When Leah was studying at the University of Utah (where she met her husband Ray Pearson) Maud wrote her several letters. These letters Leah said were a ‘lifesaver.’ Leah also expressed what a lovely alto singing voice Maud possessed.[14]
Maud held a wide variety of church callings and responsibilities over her lifetime. As well as teaching the Nursery and Primary children (where she later became Second Councillor in Stake Primary), she gave a lot of service in Relief Society. In Relief Society Maud was a secretary, teacher, ‘spiritual living’ leader, First and Second Councillor and President in Doncaster. Maud was also called to give instruction to other members about genealogical work.[15]
Maud’s husband, Bert had started his own electrical business in 1953, acquiring premises in Gordon Street, the same year as their fifth child, Susan (18 January) was born. Robert wrote that his father was often fully occupied in the business and Maud’s hands were full with the children to care for, along with her church callings.
Any time Maud had for relaxation, she filled by studying church books and going to the library. Maud’s hobbies included knitting, crochet, embroidery, gardening and monologues.[16] ‘When John was oldest to care for the rest of us,’ wrote Robert, ‘Dad without fail took Mum out to the pictures once per week. And the Don, Picture House Odeon and Gammont…in their later years the picture houses of England, Scotland and Wales were found and it was another notch on Dad’s cinema watching stick as they toured the land at holiday with the caravan.’[17]
Herbert partly retired from his business in 1975, due to health reasons. His oldest son John took over from him. Maud saw her husband’s health worsen, with him having a series of strokes, until in 1977 he had a very severe stroke that he wasn’t able to recover from. Bert died at home, 2 May, 69 years old.[18]
My sister, Louise, although only 7 years old when Bert died and only able to get to know him from a child’s perspective, still remembers some things about him. Louise wrote that Grandpa Harbon, ‘was similar to our Dad – with his quiet, but strong observing nature.’ Louise remembered playing in the garden at Cusworth Lane, ‘Granddad had a lovely greenhouse that I always wanted to go in, because it was full of nice plants, but it was out of bounds unless he was there. There was a little pond that Michael fell in!’ Louise also recalled two other personal memories: one being Bert’s ‘special chair by the fireplace, which only he sat in. The other was in his final weeks of life, when he had been bedridden. I remember being taken in to his room to see him, as a young child quite a scary experience but a picture that will always remain in my memory.’[19]
While Maud will be remembered through her journals and letters, one of Bert’s lasting contributions, are his photographs and cine films. In 1994, Andrew Harbon edited and reformatted footage from Bert’s Kodak cine films from the 1960s. Through the images Bert captured, his interests and passions come vividly to life - chiefly his love for family, boats, horses, motorbikes, caravan, planes, walking in the countryside, wildlife etc…
One example of Bert’s cine films, of great significance for me, was what he filmed from my parents wedding. Bert seemed to possess a sensitive eye for detail and a great ability to capture the human emotions of his subjects on camera.
Maud wrote regularly in journals throughout her life and also kept a Book of Remembrance. Reading what Maud wrote in 1978 one senses, despite efforts to stay active and with many visits from family and friends, she felt very lonely without her husband. She records taking flowers to Bert’s graveside in Arksey Cemetery.
On 17 August 1978, Maud wrote that she was at the London Temple, with Barbara, Rowland, Robert and Caroline, where they performed various temple ordinances for family. The most special ordinance for Maud though was to be married to ‘her husband for time and all eternity.’ Maud wrote of the experience, ‘well everything went okay in the sealing room all right and now my darling Bert and I are sealed forever. I hope he wants it that way – as I certainly have been looking forward to it.’ On this occasion Barbara and Robert were sealed to their parents too.[20] My father recalled that there was ‘glorious sunshine’ on this memorable day as they visited the temple.[21]
Maud has often been praised for the love she gave her children and when she became a grandmother, she likewise sought her grandchildren’s happiness. Not long after I was born, she came for a short stay and also to attend Louise’s baptism on 29 April 1978. Maud gave a short talk about the 4th Article of Faith, ‘which all the children present listened to avidly,’ Dad observed. Louise said ‘I was really excited that Grandma Harbon spoke. She really was a special guest for me, because I don’t remember her coming to visit us that often and she bought me a new green dress to wear on that day.’[22]
As a family we visited Maud at her home in Doncaster in July and December 1978. Sleeping at Maud’s, Louise remembered on one occasion, ‘one morning I came downstairs before anyone else and Grandma was down there. We sat together in the living room. All around the fireplace she had her Hummel or whatever it was collection and she gave me one of her pieces. It was a special moment for me, because she treated me as someone responsible. I have since lost it!’[23]
On one of these visits to Maud, my father wrote that he gave Maud a priesthood blessing at Church. ‘That was special to us,’ he said. ‘I do appreciate my Mum for what she is and what she has done for us.’
Maud decided in June 1979 to sell the family home of 45 years in Doncaster. She moved, later that year, to live with Barbara and Rowland who had bought a home at 1 York Road, in St Albans.
My Dad went to the London Temple a couple times early on in 1980 and would usually meet up with Maud there or in St Albans. Maud did come to stay with us for week, which was enjoyable, except for an unfortunate incident at Liverpool Lime Street Station, where Maud accidentally fell on the escalator, which my mother recalled was ‘upsetting for her.’ The next time we saw Grandma Harbon was at the end of August in St Albans. Aunt May was also in London at this time, promoting Ronald Reagan’s cause in his presidential campaign and we had tea with her on one evening.[24]
Louise remembers of these trips to St Albans, ‘I really liked [Maud’s] room and all the lovely dark wood furniture and the grandfather clock…I remember Grandma being a really good cook, mum was irritated that dad used to go on about it too much! Grandma served rice pudding with vanilla ice-cream, I found this the height of luxury, because mum either gave us rice pudding or ice-cream, NEVER together!’ I absolutely loved it. Dad also used to say no one could beat his mum’s pastry!’[25]
Maud was sadly diagnosed with breast cancer not long later. We went down to see her 28 May 1981, after she was recovering from an operation and radiotherapy treatment. When we were there she was very tired and in a lot of pain.
The last time the whole of our family saw Maud before she died was a visit we made at the end of October 1981. Maud was now very weak and taking painkillers, my mother commented however that ‘she is very cheerful and keeps her faith up.’ She tried to keep busy too. While we were in St Albans, it was Michael’s 8th birthday and therefore he was baptised in the LDS chapel there, especially memorable because Maud was able to attend.[26]
Since that last visit of our family, my father’s concerns for Maud’s deteriorating health grew and he often telephoned Barbara to monitor any developments. In January 1982 word came from Aunt May, who was strongly requesting for her sister to go to USA to have herb treatment there and abandon the Chemotherapy. Maud was reluctant to go and after some discussion Dad advised Maud simply to follow the counsel of her Bishop. On 17 January my father telephoned, he wrote in his diary that ‘Mum sounded weary, although been to church. Her neck is troubling her now.’[27]
The last letter my family received from Maud was stamped 15 February. Maud said it was cold outside and she had a great urge just to stay in bed, but she remained positive by writing ‘Whatever the weather we’ll weather the weather, whether we like it or not!’ But also adding her wish for the weather to improve, ‘I hope spring won’t be long, the tulips, yellow and red are out. Quite lovely.’
On February 19, Dad received news from St Albans that Maud’s ‘days are now somewhat numbered in weeks.’ The next day, my Dad’s brother, John, spent the whole day with Maud (which turned out to be the last time he saw her alive).
On Sunday 21 February, Louise, Michael and Amy went to church on their own in Southport, because Mum and Dad were both sick. Dad was now getting desperate to go and see his mother, whose state was worsening, according to Rowland. On the Monday, Dad went to the doctors, who promptly put him off work for a week. Dad hoped he would be better in a few days and planned to travel to St Albans on the Friday, hoping to take the rest of us with him to see Grandma.
But on Tuesday evening, Dad rang Barbara, who said Maud was not expected to last more than a couple of days. My father wrote, ‘this was a shock to me and I intend to travel to see her tomorrow if suitable trains can be found. I am still very weak myself from the flu, but I discussed it with Caroline and we decided I should go.’
Wednesday 24, Dad got a return ticket for £9.90 from Liverpool to London. It was a very cold day and my father was very weak physically when he got on the train for the 5-hour ride south. ‘The walk from the station at St Albans was the last straw and I was quite dizzy by the time I arrived at 1 York Road.’
My father wrote several details about Maud’s state of health upon his arrival to see her. ‘Mum was on two-hourly doses of a mixture containing morphine and largactil, which relieves the pain. The only sustenance that she receives are frequent sips of boiled water through a straw…Mum comes out of a subdued sleep for short periods and converses very plausibly, but soon lapses.’
Robert noted that the last day Maud had read in the Book of Mormon was February 18. She was up to 3 Nephi 15, adding that this was ‘a wonderful part of the scripture, dealing with the Saviour’s visit to the Nephites following the Resurrection.’
On Thursday of that week, Peter and his wife Carol brought Maud’s sister-in-law, Phyl to visit. My Dad said he was sorry to see them leave that evening and said, ‘I think Peter who doesn’t show much emotion was feeling that way.’
The next morning Robert was awoken at 7:15 a.m. by Rowland, who said he had been prompted several times in the night to give Maud a blessing. My Dad said, ‘after washing and dressing, I said a quiet prayer and went to Mum’s bedroom, where Rowland was waiting…Rowland suggested I anoint with oil, but Mum said it was “Robert’s turn,” so Rowland anointed and I gave her a blessing of faith and comfort and assurance assisted by Rowland.’
Clare Elvidge, a trained nurse, had returned from Oxford and was assisting in Maud’s care. Clare had persuaded the Doctor to allow her to administer injections, instead of the giving Maud her medicine orally, because of her difficulty swallowing.
Monday, March 1, was the last day of my father’s visit. In his journal he recorded:
‘As the injections do not sedate to the same extent, Mum was much more awake this morning and she seemed quite calm and serene. The sun was shining and she related having a dream or vision of having seen Joseph Smith and she was so excited and wanted me to know of the good news that the Saviour wanted to be here soon. She repeated this a couple of times. I was thrilled to be there with this time of finality of Mum’s mortal probation. She was faithful even during this time of great trial. Time for goodbyes and I said a prayer with her. Mum tried to repeat it after me, but was too weak to finish. I asked her to say hello to Dad for me and said goodbye, before departing in heavy rain on my journey home. I arrived home about 4:30pm. It was good to see Caroline and the children again.’
We received news by telephone on Friday March 5th that Maud had died, at 6am that morning - she passed away peacefully. My Dad added, ‘the strain of the last few weeks is now drawing to a close and Mum has passed through the veil to loved ones waiting for her.’[28]
Louise has a memory of this day too, but from her perspective as an 11 year old. ‘I remember quite distinctly the phone call from Aunty Barbara. We lived at Unit Road (Ainsdale), we were having breakfast before school…Mum told me and Mike that Grandma had died and asked us if we were okay to go to school. Then she called Dad who was already at work…I was quite upbeat about it, and went away to get ready. On deeper reflection, I realised that I had missed a vital window of opportunity – so I decided to feign some sorrow and did actually get my day off.’[29]
Two days after Maud passed away, my mother remembered again Maud’s influence in her conversion to Mormonism, writing ‘To Mum H. then we owe our membership in the Church and I am thankful for the closer relationship I had with her since the day we joined the Church. Bob drew closer to her...We didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but that will have been my fault – me being the more abrasive one.’
The following Thursday we travelled to Doncaster, staying in Conisbrough with my mother’s parents. Dad went to meet Aunt May, who had flown from Salt Lake City, via Dallas, to Atlanta, then to Gatwick airport and then travelling from London to Doncaster for her sister’s funeral.
My father recalled spending a ‘pleasant evening meal with Aunt May at the Mount Pleasant Hotel in Bawtry.’ They spoke for 3 hours until 11:30 pm. May told my father about the book she had written ‘shortly to be published concerning faith and church proselytising.’
Friday March 12, the day of Maud’s funeral service was cold and windy with some rain - my mother recalls it also being ‘snowy.’ We all gathered at my Uncle John’s home, to leave for the church at 1 pm. Barbara and Rowland just arrived in time, there son John Elvidge’s car broke down on the motorway just south of Doncaster and a taxi was quickly sent out to rescue him.
A special service was held at the LDS church in Doncaster. Rowland gave the invocation, and there were talks from two Bishop’s who had known Maud - Bishop Broome and Dewey, who spoke about her faith and the example she had set for all. My father spoke second, and although he had prepared notes (see Appendix 3) for a talk, he didn’t refer to them. My Dad expressed the feelings of assurance that both Maud and Bert had passed into loving family relationships and challenged all to find out what Maud had found out when only a girl. My Dad suggested that the grandchildren read Maud’s writings and for them to keep their own journals. He finished by explaining the Holy Ghost. My sister Amy, aged 6, remembers singing the hymn, ‘I Know That My Redeemer Lives,’ at the funeral and that Dad appeared quite emotional during the song.
Maud was buried at Arksey Cemetery, in the grave with Bert. Louise remembers standing by the graveside, with her cousins Wendy and Anne, also around the same age as her. They talked about what they remembered about their Granddad, who was already buried there and how they felt about Grandma dying. Louise doesn’t remember what they said, just that she had a ‘feeling of genuine grief.’[30]
Following the funeral and burial, family returned again to John Harbon’s house for some refreshments and socializing.[31]
It was touching to learn from my mother’s journal that despite enduring ill health for a considerable time before she died, Maud had knitted several items to give as birthday gifts to us. My sister Jenni, whose birthday was 10 March, received a knitted dressing gown from her. I received a jumper on March 27 and Louise also received a gift from Grandma for her birthday on April 27.[32]
It is hard to put into words the great influence that Maud had on others - the love that she gave her family and friends. Her example is still with us today, even for those of us who were too young to get to know her, or were born after she died.
Maud’s older sister May passed away seven years later, 9 September 1989, in Murray, Salt Lake, Utah and was buried the following day in Salt Lake City.
May and Maud were far from identical as far as personalities go. Like all siblings they fell out at times. One time after a childhood quarrel Maud was ‘spanked’ by her father for causing May’s nose to bleed! They had their differences, but still they had many things in common. For example, they shared a love for music, for family history and both kept detailed records of their lives for future posterity to read.
Perhaps what they shared most as sisters was a united faith. Specifically, a faith in what they saw to be the true gospel of Jesus Christ, restored once again to the earth. It is this aspect of their lives that I have found most fascinating to learn about.
Writing their ‘religious’ history, I have asked myself questions like: How does one explain such faith? Were May and Maud more naturally inclined to be faithful than others? Why did they continue to believe, especially when trials came their way? What rewards came from their faith? What can we learn from their example of faith?
Recently, I heard an inspiring talk given by one of today’s leading Book of Mormon scholars, Terryl L. Givens. In speaking about the choice between faith and doubt, he said:
‘The call to faith is a summons to engage the heart, to attune it to resonate in sympathy with principles and values and ideals that we devoutly hope are true, and to have reasonable but not certain grounds for believing them to be true. I am convinced that there must be grounds for doubt as well as belief in order to render the choice more truly a choice—and, therefore, the more deliberate and laden with personal vulnerability and investment. The option to believe must appear on our personal horizon like the fruit of paradise, perched precariously between sets of demands held in dynamic tension. One is, it would seem, always provided with sufficient materials out of which to fashion a life of credible conviction or dismissive denial. We are acted upon, in other words, by appeals to our personal values, our yearnings, our fears, our appetites, and our egos. What we choose to embrace, to be responsive to, is the purest reflection of who we are and what we love. That is why faith, the choice to believe, is, in the final analysis, an action that is positively laden with moral significance…
‘Why, then, is there more merit—given this perfect balance—in believing in the Christ (and His gospel and prophets) than believing in a false deity or in nothing at all? Perhaps because there is nothing in the universe—or in any possible universe—more perfectly good, absolutely beautiful, and worthy of adoration and emulation than this Christ. A gesture of belief in that direction, a will manifesting itself as a desire to acknowledge His virtues as the paramount qualities of a divided universe, is a response to the best in us, the best and noblest of which the human soul is capable.’[33]
May and Maud’s faith in Jesus Christ grew from their earliest days, from what they learnt at home and also in the Methodist Church. Their faith was reinforced in their teenage years after encountering members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The convictions they took into parenthood matured still further into later life as shown by what they did. Although experiencing trials and doubts along the way, as sisters they held true to what they believed was right. To use Givens’ words, ‘they had reasons to doubt and they had reasons to believe.’ What I will always remember is this - May and Maud chose to believe.
[1] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (6 & 14 Feb 1979); Harbon, Robert. Journal (4 February 1979)
[2] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (11 May 1981); Harbon, Robert. Journal (10 May 1981)
[3] Prince-Bennett, May. The Campaign of Faith and You, 1982. p.20-21
[4] Prince-Bennett, May. The Campaign of Faith and You, 1982. p.71
[5] Prince-Bennett, May. The Campaign of Faith and You, 1982. p.44
[6] Harbon, Peter. Journal (22 July 2007)
[7] Pearson, Leah (telephone conversations: 5 Dec 2006, 2 Aug 2007)
[8] Elvidge, Barbara (email, 4 March 2007)
[9] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (14 March 1982)
[10] Elvidge, Barbara (email, 4 March 2007); www.elvidge.co.uk ‘Harbon Genealogy:Maud Prince’
[11] Harbon, Robert (‘Thoughts about Mum’s life,’ March 1982)
[12] Elvidge, Barbara (email 4 March 2007)
[13] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (‘My Conversion to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,’ written October 1991); Harbon, Caroline. Journal (7 March 1982)
[14] Pearson, Leah (telephone conversation, 5 Dec 2006)
[15] Harbon, Maud. Book of Remembrance (Amy Parker’s notes)
[16] Harbon, Maud. Book of Remembrance (Amy Parker’s notes); Harbon, Robert (‘Thoughts about Mum’s life,’ March 1982)
[17] Harbon, Robert (‘Thoughts about Mum’s life,’ March 1982)
[18] www.elvidge.co.uk ‘Harbon Genealogy: Maud Prince’
[19] Erlacher, Louise (‘Grandparents’ Christmas Memory 2005); Erlacher, Louise (email, 7 Sept 2007)
[20] Harbon, Maud. Journal (17 August 1978)
[21] Harbon, Robert. Journal (3 September 1978)
[22] Harbon, Robert. Journal (30 April 1978); Erlacher, Louise. (email 7 September 2007)
[23] Erlacher, Louise. (email 7 September 2007)
[24] Harbon, Robert. Journal (17 June, 8 Oct 1979, 17 & 31 Aug 1980); Harbon, Caroline. Journal (9 March, 3 & 31 Aug 1980)
[25] Erlacher, Louise (email 7 September 2007)
[26] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (2 November 1981)
[27] Harbon, Robert. Journal (17 January 1982)
[28] Harbon, Robert. Journal (19 February – 5 March 1982)
[29] Erlacher, Louise (email, 7 Sept 2007); Erlacher, Louise (‘Grandparents’ Christmas Memory 2005)
[30] Erlacher, Louise (email 7 Sept 2007); Erlacher, Louise (‘Grandparents’ Christmas Memory 2005)
[31] Harbon, Robert. Journal (11, 12 & 13 March 1982); Harbon, Caroline. Journal (14 March 1982)
[32] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (14 & 28 March 1982)
[33] Givens, Terryl L. Lightning Out of Heaven: Joseph Smith and the Forging of Community (BYU Speeches, 29 Nov 2005)
[2] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (11 May 1981); Harbon, Robert. Journal (10 May 1981)
[3] Prince-Bennett, May. The Campaign of Faith and You, 1982. p.20-21
[4] Prince-Bennett, May. The Campaign of Faith and You, 1982. p.71
[5] Prince-Bennett, May. The Campaign of Faith and You, 1982. p.44
[6] Harbon, Peter. Journal (22 July 2007)
[7] Pearson, Leah (telephone conversations: 5 Dec 2006, 2 Aug 2007)
[8] Elvidge, Barbara (email, 4 March 2007)
[9] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (14 March 1982)
[10] Elvidge, Barbara (email, 4 March 2007); www.elvidge.co.uk ‘Harbon Genealogy:Maud Prince’
[11] Harbon, Robert (‘Thoughts about Mum’s life,’ March 1982)
[12] Elvidge, Barbara (email 4 March 2007)
[13] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (‘My Conversion to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,’ written October 1991); Harbon, Caroline. Journal (7 March 1982)
[14] Pearson, Leah (telephone conversation, 5 Dec 2006)
[15] Harbon, Maud. Book of Remembrance (Amy Parker’s notes)
[16] Harbon, Maud. Book of Remembrance (Amy Parker’s notes); Harbon, Robert (‘Thoughts about Mum’s life,’ March 1982)
[17] Harbon, Robert (‘Thoughts about Mum’s life,’ March 1982)
[18] www.elvidge.co.uk ‘Harbon Genealogy: Maud Prince’
[19] Erlacher, Louise (‘Grandparents’ Christmas Memory 2005); Erlacher, Louise (email, 7 Sept 2007)
[20] Harbon, Maud. Journal (17 August 1978)
[21] Harbon, Robert. Journal (3 September 1978)
[22] Harbon, Robert. Journal (30 April 1978); Erlacher, Louise. (email 7 September 2007)
[23] Erlacher, Louise. (email 7 September 2007)
[24] Harbon, Robert. Journal (17 June, 8 Oct 1979, 17 & 31 Aug 1980); Harbon, Caroline. Journal (9 March, 3 & 31 Aug 1980)
[25] Erlacher, Louise (email 7 September 2007)
[26] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (2 November 1981)
[27] Harbon, Robert. Journal (17 January 1982)
[28] Harbon, Robert. Journal (19 February – 5 March 1982)
[29] Erlacher, Louise (email, 7 Sept 2007); Erlacher, Louise (‘Grandparents’ Christmas Memory 2005)
[30] Erlacher, Louise (email 7 Sept 2007); Erlacher, Louise (‘Grandparents’ Christmas Memory 2005)
[31] Harbon, Robert. Journal (11, 12 & 13 March 1982); Harbon, Caroline. Journal (14 March 1982)
[32] Harbon, Caroline. Journal (14 & 28 March 1982)
[33] Givens, Terryl L. Lightning Out of Heaven: Joseph Smith and the Forging of Community (BYU Speeches, 29 Nov 2005)
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